i’ve been tifaux-ing one week then saving it to watch it the following week with the next episode. because, just like potato chips, you can’t eat just one. thank jebus for the 2-hour special in the middle of the season. it’s like the producers are in my head.
- 11am – noon
it’s a bauer family reunion! i’m losing faith in karen’s tough-as-nailness. so bored with the sandra/walid thing. hatehatehate the milo-morris forced tension. i’m pretending it’s sexual tension and that the chloe-milo-morris love triangle they are trying to slowly introduce will end with milo and morris together. i don’t think i like the expanded emotive chloe. i liked grumpy socially inept scowly chloe. how can i miss donald sutherland as daddy bauer when he never was?
- noon – 1pm
that tricksy bauer family. just when you think the bad guy is the brother? pow! and where’s mommie bauer anyway? seems to me that all that torturing would make the holidays just a little awkward. that and the fact that josh has to be jack’s son. i’m just sayin’. okay, so i’m not sure if i’m just smart or if it was really obvious, but was there anyone who didn’t immediately know the engineer that mccarthy found for fayed was morris? i could totally be a ctu agent. when the call came in about his brother being hurt in the nuke blast, i was all, like, “that’s too obvious! these are trained professionals, they’ll never go for it.” and then i was all, like, wrong. meanwhile, prez wayne has a backbone and daddy bauer needs to trade his “world’s best father” mug for one that says, “that’ll do pig.”
- 1pm – 2pm
more crossing and double crossing this episode. this time by non-bauers. fayed gets his torture on by taking a drill to morris’ shoulder. poor little rabbit. apparently, torture is the new black.
- 2pm – 3pm
morris and jack both return to ctu filled with their own levels of shame and grief. oh and, by the way for all those viewers who are concerned about negative portrayals of arabs, it’s totally the russians that are the mustachioed bad guys! the arabs are just the pawns. there’s a whole presidential assassination plan afoot involving tom and chad lowe (maybe prez wayne didn’t thank him when he won office?). am i supposed to care about jack and marilyn’s past relationship? other than, you know, that jack has a son? evil daddy bauer turns into evil granddaddy bauer and threatens to kill josh. that’s just not right.
- 3pm – 4pm
jack saves marilyn and milo from evil daddy bauer’s henchmen. morris is totally unravelling and goes to buy cigarettes and booze, which he takes a drink of then immediately spits out. good thing he bought those altoids. that alwaysworks. tom moves to turn in the assassination-ers, but gets knocked out for his trouble. that chad lowe is fiesty. just when it looks like evil daddy bauer is about to kill his second son of the day, he sneaks off during jack’s heartfelt apology for rejecting the family. then leaves him a cell phone with the number of…charles logan? wimpy ex-prez from last season? okay then.
- 4pm – 5pm
logan is under house arrest and claims he can help find the russians, who got some drone thingies to delivery the nukes. then he and jack spend a lot of time changing clothes (not together! that’s dirty.). morris continues to fall apart and chloe continues to annoy me. chad lowe plants a bomb in the podium before assad and prez wayne’s speech dress rehearsal. it goes boom. does this mean that the the veep is about to go all powers boothy on the terrorists?
are we almost halfway through the season?
