without a definite route


on January 25, 2007

i just learned two new (to me) parental buzzwords that make me laugh. probably because i’m completely guilty of both of them. the first is “sanctimommy,” which is, basically, a parent who is judgmental of other parents. not your average judgey, but eye-rolling in the grocery store check-out judgey. josh and i have been in line behind people who give in when thier kids whine for candy.  we’ve shared self-important glances like we have any idea of what lies in our future and what we’d do in that situation. where do two rookies like us get that? why do we think we know better?

to be honest, i was a sanctimommy before i was a mommy. now i at least have some experience to back up my judgey. is there a difference between parental pride and parental judgement? how fine of a line is it? there are things that i’m extremely proud of that automatically set off the judgey-alarm in other parents who don’t do them. emmit has yet to eat a french fry or chocolate. he drinks organic milk and eats organic yogurt. if something is hydrogenated, he doesn’t eat it. in fact, most of his food is homemade.  i delivered him totally without drugs after 40-hours of labor and 6-hours of pushing. where’s my award? oh, wait – what? i don’t use cloth diapers or dress him in organic clothes? i’ve given him tylenol and motrin for teething pain instead of homeopathic remedies? i let him throw his toys from his grocery cart perch, then pick them up and hand them right back to him? i don’t disinfect said grocery cart perch with an antibacterial wipe before his pudgy hands – and mouth – come into contact with it? where does one draw the line about what constitutes bad parenting, okay parenting and over-the-moon-good parenting? and does it matter as long as a child is safe and loved and happy?

am i sanctimommious? you bet, but i hope that i generally keep it to myself; that my eye-rolls and sighs are mostly silent. i figure we’re all just doing the best we can. i haven’t been totally successful with the silence. i had to speak up when my co-worker said that there was no evidence that nursing is better for a baby than formula (i sent him a barrage of formula company websites, all stating “breastfeeding is the best, but if you can’t breastfeed, our product blahblah…” ). or when a friend gave her 14-month old daughter whole blueberries (“would you like me to cut those in half?” i said, ever-so-helpfully).

the second buzzword is “uber-boober,” which is a parent who is obsessed with breastfeeding. that’s totally me! i’m proud to be an uber-boober. in addition to it being the right thing for emmit and me, i loved how shifty-eyed and uncomfortable people got when we nursed in public. i love when people ask me if i’m still nursing, as if the very thought of it makes them nauseous. but i never had a name to put with my obsession and uber-boober fits. plus how funny is that? uber. boober. heh.


2 responses to “buzz

  1. lolly says:

    so i had a sanctimommy moment today at dance class. Lily, my beautiful yet trying free spirit, always dresses herself. she has her own eclectic style that i love despite my “type A” tendencies. anyway, she put on her tights and her hand me down leotard (sp?) that’s required and then proceeded to adorn herself with a very shiny pink sequenced skirt and halter top from her dress-up box. she said, “mommy, look at me!!” Of course, she was beautiful and we went off to class. there are three of us “normal” mommies (normal being a mommy who has hips and not perfect teeth and messy hair and peanut butter on her sleeve at any given moment) and one ubermommy-i’m better than you-i never yell-and you’re kid is ugly mommy. ubermommy shows up with daddy and both daughters, the five year old in the class and her two year old sister. they were dressed perfectly in matching snow white ballerina outfits. very cute, but i’m going to say WAY over the top. when lily took off her coat and displayed her lovely ensemble, the ubermommy gave me a look like,”oh, i’m so sorry you can’t have better clothes for your ugly child” i really wanted to pinch her head off but i just smiled and watched my daughter run around in the sweetest ballet moves. nope, she’s not perfect, but she danced swan lake tonight in her mind and i couldn’t be prouder. how’s that for a sanctimommy moment. my little girl has skinned knees and hair that she never lets me comb or brush. isn’t that awesome? i think so. 🙂

  2. Clint says:

    I should remain silent, but that doesn’t suit me. I run into these suburbanites all the time. The proximity of my handler(wife) has a direct correlation to the safety of the idiot in question. However, it would seem that I often find myself in situations where breaking necks and eating the young is not an viable option. I have graduated from physically inflicting my opinion, blowing kisses, and sign language to a direct and piercing stare that seems to make them very uncomfortable.
    In closing, raise your kids as you see fit and forget the idiots of the world. I have had two profound realizations in my journey of fatherhood. First, no matter how hard you hit and idiot, they will still be an idiot. Second, the type of person that irritates me as a parent is the same type that irritated me in my younger days. The sad thing is that they were allowed to reproduce and another generation of idiots are now walking the earth.

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