without a definite route

that’s my culture

on March 20, 2007

for whatever reason, i really didn’t care that much about this episode. is there a better word than “episode?” i mean, since they call it “cycle” instead of “season,” they should have something other than “episode” to call it. even “chapter” would be better, except that might indicate something literary and we wouldn’t want that. yeah, so, i just feel kind of bleh about this chapter, even though i am truly happy that i didn’t watch it alone (yay carol!). girls are fun…even when antm doesn’t live up to expectations.

part of me thinks it might be the whole jael’s friend dying thing. how is that entertaining? it was actually sad. and not entertaining sad. with that, here are the blahblah thoughts i had about the show.

makeovers! i’m sure i’m not the only one, but makeovers are usually my favorite time with all the crying and drama and diva-liciousness. this time? meh. per usual, some makeovers are good. some bad. some of the girls are happy. some sad. so many rely on weaves, which is strangely dissatisfying to me. i don’t remember so much fake hair. the best makeovers end up being, well i actually can’t even remember who. although a few of them look pretty snazzy in their post-makeover photo, nobody really stands out to me. my girl dionne doesn’t look terrible. and they covered felicia’s eyebrows, which is good. the worst of the worst? natasha’s hair looks even more wig-like than it did before. renee is supposed to get yoanna’s hair, but instead gets a mullet. and not even a regular mullet, but kind of a soccer mom mullet. maybe i just don’t get it because it’s so super edgy. brittany just looks bad. although i like the color, it’s just…bad. jael’s were the most justifiable tears in the history of this show after sitting for 8-hours getting fake hair sewn onto her head and then all chopped off, but i think she actually ended up looking pretty good.

i got a little excited about tyra mocking other season’s whiners. funny montage. and i got even more excited about the hedge clippers to the weave. i thought she was getting something drastic done. but then at panal it was all big and weavey. and, yeah, what’s with the scarfs on her head? i keep expecting her to pull out a crystal ball, which might be kind of funny.

 ooh, but how cute was the stylest?

jael’s friend od-ing confirmed a lot about jael. the death of a friend pretty much puts all the bitchy girl fighting into perspective. and who wants that? i’m just surprised that they didn’t design the photo-shoot around a cemetery or funeral home just to mess with her head. i guess it was sweet that she dedicated her photo to her friend. i have to admit that it inspired me to dedicate the ice cream sandwich that i was eating to her friend, too.

i really want to like renee. her bitchiness could be funny, but her photos need to be better. she has to earn the right to be jerky, is all i’m saying. i keep reminding myself that she’s a mother. seriously, what kind of mommie talks that much smack? interesting that she’s stopped talking about her son, unless they are editing it all out so they can focus on it later before she gets cut. i love brittany even though she cries a lot. her weave hurts, she’s homesick, whatever. whitney, whose god apparently doesn’t require her to be nice to everyone, says that she “slapped her up, gave her the deuces and walked away.” i don’t even know what that means, but it sounds fun. renee calls brittany pious after being confronted about all the behind-the-back talking. she says that “it’s what girls do.” and, well, yeah. brittany brilliantly says, “i’m still kicking your ass in this competition.” to which renee responds cleverly by giving her the finger. that’s just low class. and awesome.

the photo shoot was neat. most of the girls rocked it because the makeup was so cool. brittany’s picture was amazing. weird that they painted her all yellow, but she wasn’t yellow in the final product. what else are they photo-shopping out of the pictures? devil horns? halos? there are just a couple pictures from the history of this entire show that could be in magazines and brittany’s is one of them.  jaslene’s body looks bizarre in her picture, like she’s standing in front of one of those carnival mirrors that stretches things. girl is nasty skinny. carol and i were curious about being nakey with all that food. seems a little dirty and not in a good way.

and then it came down to boring and seriously goofy looking cassandra and diane, who needs to get a clue that fat girls are supposed to have big personalities. they were right to send cassandra home, but i was curious to see if she improved or not. i’m kind of just bored by diane, on accounta she doesn’t have the appropriate fat girl personality. also, her nose bugs me.

i will end with the excellent quote from tyra:

“that’s beautiful. culture is beautiful. i don’t sit up here and go, ‘that was a great shot.’ i’m like, ‘girl you better work it…you look a little hoochie.’ that’s my culture. so it’s important to, like, bring that.”

once again, tyra sums up all the world’s ills in her special way. i mean, seriously, have we tried saying that to the taliban?


3 responses to “that’s my culture

  1. lmb says:

    the problem with tyra making fun of previous drama queens getting their makeovers is that it really ruined it for those of us watching at home. what fun are makeovers if nobody cries? and jael doesn’t count because, yeah—those tears were totally justified.

  2. Nana says:

    Oh the joy I get from reading your dishing the dirt on ANTMs! So how’s this: Osama, you know you look a little hoochie. You been in that cave a little too long. So come on, OBL, how about you work it boy and we’ll see what we’ve got?

  3. lmb says:

    oh, man, kimmy. nana funny. and i can’t wait to see what kind of search terms find your blog now… 😉

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