without a definite route

antm: make it pretty ugly

on April 25, 2007

flashback 2 weeks ago: 

it’s the time in the cycle for acting! tia mowry (even sans her twin, shudder) of sister sister is their coach. 1st they are given crazy hats and told to, like, act like their hats. they do a scene with pedro from napoleon dynamite. and i just have to say…that’s interesting…kind of hip. sadly, he’s no taye diggs. they put the girls in winter clothes and ask them to “act” like diva models.

unfortunately, nothing really ridiculous happens, like “illnesses.” they don’t even try to make the girls cry. remember shandi with the snot? those were the days. renee wins the challenge and, in her continuing leaf turning mode, shares her win with dionne, who previously said she wouldn’t give renee another chance. seems wholahay can be bought. they win t-shirts and seem genuinely not unhappy about it even though i’d be mauling whitney for her bracelet . the prize turns out to be the best one, though, when renee and dionne’s families show up the next day. they get to hang out with their kids and it’s actually kind of touching. even dionne violently combing her daughter’s hair out because her sister only has boys and doesn’t know what she’ s doing is sweet in its own twisted way. natasha really misses her baby and runs outside looking for her. it’s sad. she cries to her husband on the phone and he doesn’t seem to know what to say.

the photo shoot is a little on the lame-o side in terms of showing the contestant’s skills, but i love me some antm memory lane. the girls pose with past antm contestants in recreations of “scandalous” situations. i’m not sure the show’s producers totally understand what scandalous means. i got all excited about some really good ones, like, “you had sex!” plus it would have been great to see shandi again.

renee poses with joanie from cycle6 getting veneers. i kind of like the picture (the shoes look great), but joanie steals it a little. brittany is with the twins, because tyra confuses scandalous with creepy. it’s a common mistake. jael is with rebecca from cycle4, who passed out at panel. when shown the footage of the collapse, jael says, “whoa. she rules.” i’m not sure what i like least about this picture. jael sexing it up too much or rebecca’s shirt. jaslene poses with bre from cycle5 in the granola bar incident. whitney is with shannon from cycle1 refusing to pose nakey (woo hoo! cycle1 is generally that which shall not be named) . natasha is with michelle from cycle4, who looked so much less like a man than she did when she was on the show. they said it was flesh eating bacteria, but it was actually just impetigo. way to ratchet up the terror alert there, tyra. dionne poses with kim from cycle 5 in a limo recreating kim’s “1 down 11 to go” lesbian victory moment. although i’m not loving kim’s hair, she looks pretty hot. plus she seems to have some kind of voodoo magic on the straight girls because dionne goes from saying she’s “not no f**king lesbo.” to “i kind of enjoyed that.” yay! i love it when straight people have their world’s turned around a little like that. plus a girl named wholahay needs to be okay with the gay. also, dionne totally rocked the shoes in that pose.

after all is said and done, it is whitney’s time to go. well, if you ask me, it’s way past her time to go, but this time she doesn’t escape from the clutches.  

at panel, tyra is looking a little bit gypsy. the scarf and the mini-skirt? nice. i’m thinking she’s started a fleetwood mac tribute band. or she has a 2nd job as one of those fortune tellers in a box. oh crap. now i can’t get that image out of my head. at least until another one comes up…like say tyra in a kangaroo costume with her wig falling off….

 i was disappointed that there wasn’t a tyra in a scandal picture, like maybe her yelling at that model (i can’t remember who it was). that would have been good. um…also…what was this?


2 responses to “antm: make it pretty ugly

  1. lmb says:

    bitch poured BEER in mah weave!! that was tiffany who received the brunt of tyra’s anger.

    also, why has nobody mentioned the live kangaroo? there was a KANGAROO on set, for pete’s sake! the camera kept glancing at it, all, wtf? am i supposed to film this? or the girls? or is there a difference?

  2. dumbtourist says:

    i swear i watched all of these but i was, you know, run over by this car like 4 years ago and my short term memory is just GONE.

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